Wheelie embarrassing

Only four weeks to go now and thank goodness for that.

I've had sinusitis for the past two days and didn't sleep more than a couple of hours last night, not exactly ideal preparation for a 19-mile run this morning. But I made it round and that's all that matters at this stage.

However, later, whilst crumpled in a heap on the sofa, I flicked across to the coverage of the various Sport Relief miles taking place around the country. The images prompted me to break out in a cold sweat. Let me explain.

Two years ago I ran the last Sport Relief Mile along the Embankment in London. The problem was, none of my friends down there would do it with me so by the time I got to the start line I was a little bored. When the gun went, I thought to myself, "what the hell, it's only a mile so I might as well get a bit of a sweat up." I therefore took off as quickly as I could (although clearly there were many better runners than me so my extra efforts might very easily have been missed by the cheering crowd).

Then, about halfway down the course, I noticed a familiar figure some distance ahead of me. It was Ade Adepitan, best known to most as the deadlocked guy who featured in the BBC wheelchair dancing sequence a few years ago. You know, when the announcer says, "and now on BBC1..." and off they go. I think you've got me.

Anyway, I spotted yer man pushing himself down the road with all his might. Suddenly there was only one thing in life that mattered to me - I had to beat him. For the next three minutes or so I ran quicker than I'd run since my early twenties. At one point I thought my head was going to explode. And the result? I just nicked him on the line, even taking the precaution of dipping like an Olympic sprinter to guarantee my crown. I felt wonderful, what I hero I was!

But a few seconds later, as I was being guided round to get my goodie bag, I caught the appalled stare of an old friend I used to work with who was acting as a steward and had seen my antics. She looked me straight in the eye, smiled and shook her head. The reality dawned. I wanted the ground to eat me.

Needless to say, I don't think Ade himself noticed me at any point and if he had I'm sure he wouldn't have cared.

But there again... thinking back, a few minutes after the finish I remember him doing a TV interview in a particularly cheery manner. Hmmm. Actually, now I hope he did notice me. I beat him fair and square and he'd better just accept it. How sad is he? Tch!